Help, ik ben geen goede moeder!

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We hebben allemaal wel eens het gevoel dat we het helemaal niet kunnen, het opvoeden van kinderen. Dan zie je van die prachtige moeders bij het schoolplein staan, om hun perfecte kinderen op te halen om samen superleuke dingen te gaan doen. Pffff. Terwijl die van jou zich op het schoolplein al misdragen, zodat geen enkele moeder ze wil meenemen. En je had zo gehoopt dat jij dan even twee uurtjes voor jezelf zou hebben. 6 Tips!

1. Een perfecte moeder bestaat niet
Echt niet. Sommigen lijken er heel dichtbij te komen, maar wat je ziet is niet altijd wat het is. Je weet niet hoe ze zich voelen, hoe ze het thuis hebben, hoe de familie of het werk eruit zien. Een vriendin verzuchtte eens: ‘Waarom heb ik altijd zoveel gedoe?’ Toen we samen de moeders in onze buurt doornamen, kwamen we echter tot de conclusie dat we eigenlijk met niemand wilden ruilen.

Slecht voelen is niet slecht zijn
Je voelt je slecht. Maar ben je ook echt een slechte moeder? Daar zit een groot verschil tussen. Echt slecht? Vast niet. Écht slechte moeders doen het slecht, maar voelen zich niet slecht. Die vinden dat ze het goed doen. Terwijl jij het misschien niet allemaal perfect regelt, maar soms ook wel. Het is natuurlijk niet fijn als je je een slechte moeder voelt. Dáár kun je wel wat aan doen.

Weg met dat schuldgevoel
Je hebt soms even echt geen geduld met je kinderen. Ze doen niet wat je wilt. Je gaat niet op tijd weg van je werk, uiteraard heb je file, je komt te laat bij de crèche (je kinderen staan er als laatste, al met hun jas aan, samen met de boze leidster die ook naar huis wil), je hoopt bij thuiskomst op een maaltijd in de vriezer, maar helaas. En op dat moment beginnen je kinderen (moe) te klieren en ruzie te maken. Het kan natuurlijk niet, maar voordat je het weet geef je ze een grauw en een snauw en schreeuw je ze zo ongeveer hun bed in. Het liefst zou je je jas aantrekken en heel hard wegrennen. Jij doet het op dat moment niet goed, maar onder deze druk moet je wel van heel goede huize komen om het gezellig te houden. Reken af met de tijdsdruk. Zet een wekker om op tijd weg te gaan op je werk. Zorg dat de vriezer altijd gevuld is, en plan dit soort gebeurtenissen, zodat je niet voor verrassingen komt te staan.

Zorg beter voor jezelf
Het is niet goed voor kinderen als je alleen maar tegen ze zegt wat ze niet goed doen. Je moet zorgen dat ze zeker van zichzelf worden, dat ze voelen dat ze dingen aankunnen en dat ze zelfvertrouwen krijgen. Daar kun je als ouder voor zorgen met complimenten en belonen. Maar doe dat dan ook meteen voor jezelf. Wees wat liever voor jezelf. Zeg niet steeds: ‘Ik kan dit niet’. Dan ga je het nog geloven ook. Beloon jezelf af en toe met iets. Een keer je nagels laten lakken. Lekker naar de sauna. Een oppas, omdat jij gaat borrelen.

Herken het als je echt aan het eind van je latijn bent
Een keer een ruzie of schreeuwen met je kinderen kunnen ze best hebben. Zeker als je daarna uitlegt hoe het kwam. Zelfs kleine kinderen snappen dat. Ga eens een keer rustig zitten en maak de balans op. Wat zou je kunnen veranderen? Wij kennen iemand die tussen vijf en half acht een oppas had. Voor € 2,50 euro per uur kwam het buurmeisje met de kinderen spelen en ze voorlezen, terwijl zij het eten klaarmaakte. Samen legden ze de kinderen in bed. Dan maar een keertje minder uit eten was haar motto.

Schakel hulptroepen in
Als het normaal wordt dat je tegen je kinderen schreeuwt of als je ze echt verschrikkelijk vindt… dan moet je hulp inschakelen. Ga naar je huisarts, meld je minimaal een week ziek en schakel hulptroepen in. Bouw een netwerk op met andere moeders. Als jij haar kinderen meeneemt, neemt zij een andere keer die van jou mee. Als je dat afspreekt, heb je wat vaker een paar uur voor jezelf. Om je werk af te maken, maar óók om even met een boek op de bank te zitten.

Bronnen: mens-en-samenleving.infonu.nl en perfectemoedersbestaanniet.nl

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267 reacties

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  116. The contemporary Zune browser is incredibly beneficial, however not as superior as the iPod’s. It functions properly, nonetheless isn’t as instantaneous as Safari, and incorporates a clunkier interface. If you at times program on working with the world wide web browser that is not an issue, yet if you happen to be building towards read through the net alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger sized display and better browser could be critical.

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  146. Apple presently has Rhapsody as an app, which is a superior start, but it is currently hampered by the incapacity towards retail outlet regionally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit cost. If this adjustments, then it will rather negate this ease for the Zune, but the Ten music for every thirty day period will nevertheless be a significant as well as within Zune Pass’ favor.

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  155. Apple at the moment incorporates Rhapsody as an app, which is a Good start off, however it is presently hampered as a result of the inability toward store regionally upon your iPod, and consists of a dismal 64kbps bit price tag. If this variations, then it will relatively negate this ease for the Zune, but the Ten songs for each thirty day period will nonetheless be a substantial in addition in just Zune Pass’ like.

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