Laatst hoorde ik een peptalk van Marc Lammers, de ex-bondscoach van het Nederlandse hockeyelftal. Ik ben niet van de hockey, maar ik lag aan zijn lippen. Wat hij vertelde, had ik graag eerder gehoord. Heel inspirerend! Mama’s in Nederland: Coach je kids!
Oei, als het waar is wat hij zegt, heb ik veel fouten gemaakt in de opvoeding van mijn kinderen. Het is een wonder dat ze zo goed terecht zijn gekomen. Maar ik ga mijn leven beteren. Is het niet voor mijn kids, dan ga ik de tips en ideëen van deze topcoach bij mezelf toepassen!
In de basis komen Lammers ideëen hier op neer: In Nederland focussen wij moeders ons vaak op wat er niet goed gaat. Heeft je kind een rapport met allemaal zessen, een acht en een vier dan zeggen we: “Maak van die vier een zes en laat die acht maar voor wat het is.“ Wat we volgens Lammers beter kunnen zeggen is: “Concentreer je op die acht en maak daar een tien van. Daar ben je schijnbaar goed in. Daar kun je mee opvallen, waardoor je zelfvertrouwen krijgt. En met meer zelfvertrouwen word je overal beter in, dus werk je vanzelf die vier weg.” Klinkt logisch. Als je je blijft concentreren op de zwakke punten van je kind, kan hij of zij alleen maar dáár aan denken. Weg zelfvertrouwen. Onzekerheid en falen zijn het gevolg.
Ook een eyeopener: De hersenen kennen het woordje ‘niet’ niet. Als je tegen kinderen zegt dat ze niet aan snoep mogen komen, denken ze ineens aan snoep. Het is dus niet handig om daar de aandacht op te leggen. Vestig liever de aandacht op positieve dingen, dingen waar kinderen juist wél aan mogen denken. Ik ga het op mezelf uitproberen. Niet: ik mag niet shoppen. Maar: ik ga mijn geld in mijn portemonnee houden.
Kijk en luister zelf naar onderstaand fragment van Marc Lammers over oud-international Sylvia Karres. Het is écht de moeite waard! Marc is een geweldige verteller! Inspireer jezelf en coach je kids.
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