Filosofie voor kids: leer je kind beter kennen

Kinderen vragen je soms de oren van het hoofd. Tenminste, die van ons wel. Vooral op momenten dat je er niet op zit te wachten (je wilt even snel een wasje in de machine gooien voordat je weg moet), je je aandacht er niet bij hebt of op plekken die niet zo handig zijn (op school, als je net de invaljuf op haar gedrag aanspreekt). En wat moet je dan antwoorden op van die vragen waar geen antwoorden op zijn? Moet je eigenlijk wel antwoorden?

Nee, je hoeft niet altijd antwoord te geven op filosofische vragen van je kind. Je kunt ook wedervragen stellen, zodat de kinderen zelf gaat nadenken over een antwoord. Waarom hebben bomen geen gezicht? Vraag hoe je kind op die vraag komt: hoe komt het dat je daar nu ineens aan denkt? Hoe zou het zijn als alle bomen een gezicht hebben? Zou het de wereld gezelliger maken? Zou je dan met de bomen gaan praten? Zou je dat wel willen?

Zo leren kinderen zelf nadenken, een mening en een oordeel vormen. Daar worden ze zelfstandig van en zo ontwikkelen ze verantwoordelijkheidsgevoel. Ze kijken beter om zich heen en nemen hun omgeving beter in zich op. Ze gaan als het ware bewuster leven, zijn meer mindful.

Kinderen krijgen dan geen duidelijk antwoord. Maar dat is niet erg. Want niet elke vraag hoeft een antwoord te hebben. Soms is een vraag eigenlijk bedoeld om contact met je te zoeken, om aandacht te krijgen. Als je dan even op je knieën gaat en tijd neemt voor je kind, geef je hem of haar ook die unieke, één-op-één aandacht waar het behoefte aan heeft.

Je kunt door wedervragen ook een richting aan het gesprek geven. Wil je hem een beetje bewuster maken van zijn broertjes of zusje? Moet hij leren dat er ook andere kinderen met zijn speelgoed mogen spelen, moet hij leren om beter te luisteren naar de juf? Probeer een schijnbaar vreemde vraag die richting op te sturen door wedervragen zo te formuleren dat je kind dieper gaat nadenken.

Je kunt natuurlijk ook gewoon met je kind over leuke en interessante dingen in het leven praten. Over vriendschap, geloof, hoop liefde, schoonheid…. Allemaal dingen die je je kinderen graag meegeeft, maar die misschien niet zo snel aan de ontbijttafel (met alle omvallende bekers, en niet of teveel etende kinderen) ter sprake komen.

Je leert filosoferend je kinderen beter kennen en je kind leert jou beter kennen. En nog een klein voordeeltje: je leert jezélf door deze manier van vragen ook wat beter kennen. En dat is nooit weg.

Bron: Filosofie voor Kids. Wat is de schoonheid van kunst? Oscar Brenifier.


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